Get Some Gelato and See What You Have Been Missing

Gelato is a flavorful alternative to ice cream and other frozen desserts. It is rich and full of flavor. This treat is known as Italian ice cream and even though it is a frozen dessert, there are some differences that greatly distinguish it from regular ice cream. It has a much lower fat content and a creamier consistency. Even though there is less milk used in the making of this tasty treat, it does have egg yolks in it to help give it a thicker and creamier consistency. Although it is considered a healthy alternative to other frozen desserts, if you are lactose intolerant, you may want to sample it in small portions to see how your body is able to tolerate this treat.

Gelato is also made with fresh ingredients. In this day and age where the majority of frozen desserts are made with artificial flavors and sugars, gelato is made with real fruit purees, juices, and ingredients. There is less sugar in this dessert and because there is more balance between the water and sugar ratios, it is able to maintain a creamy consistency instead of freezing rock-hard like ice cream does. During the manufacturing process, this Italian dessert is churned at a much slower pace than other desserts are. The goal is to reduce the amount of air in the product and to increase its density. By increasing the density, the flavors stand out more and you get more product for your money. Gelato has a slightly lower freezing temperature than other frozen desserts. This means that on a hot day, it will melt much faster than other treats. The faster melting rate is also a direct result of the product having less air whipped into it and a much lower fat content.

Even if you feel the need to try and make your own flavorful dessert on your own, you may need to invest in an Italian ice cream maker. It is possible to use a regular ice cream maker, however you may not get the same consistency that this dessert is renowned for. Experiment with different recipes and flavors until you find a method and flavor that you like the best. When it comes to storing this dessert, it is best to store it in small batches. The longer it is frozen the quicker it starts to lose its flavor and consistency after a few days. This is a dessert you can enjoy first thing in the morning or late at night. It is a great surprise for special occasions as well.

Since Gelato has such a rich flavor, it is becoming more popular as a dessert all over the world. It tastes best if it is consumed within the first few days. It is one of the best frozen and fresh desserts you can choose to try. Visit your local ice cream parlor and local grocery store to get your hands on this flavorful frozen treat.

If you?re looking for an alternative to ice cream and other frozen treats, trygelato. Find out more about this frozen delight at http://ciaobellagelato.com.

Source: http://www.articlesrx.com/get-some-gelato-and-see-what-you-have-been-missing/10751

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Researchers identify genetic mutation for rare cancer

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

It started with a 44-year-old woman with solitary fibrous tumor, a rare cancer seen in only a few hundred people each year.

By looking at the entire DNA from this one patient's tumor, researchers have found a genetic anomaly that provides an important clue to improving how this cancer is diagnosed and treated.

Researchers at the University of Michigan Comprehensive Cancer Center sequenced the tumor's genome through a new program called MI-ONCOSEQ, which is designed to identify genetic mutations in tumors that might be targeted with new therapies being tested in clinical trials.

The sequencing also allows researchers to find new mutations. In this case, an unusual occurrence of two genes ? NAB2 and STAT6 ? fusing together. This is the first time this gene fusion has been identified.

"In most cases, mutations are identified because we see them happening again and again. Here, we had only one case of this. We knew NAB2-STAT6 was important because integrated sequencing ruled out all the known cancer genes. That allowed us to focus on what had been changed," says lead study author Dan R. Robinson, research fellow with the Michigan Center for Translational Pathology.

Once they found the aberration, the researchers looked at 51 other tumor samples from benign and cancerous solitary fibrous tumors, looking for the NAB2-STAT6 gene fusion. It showed up in every one of the samples. Results are published online in Nature Genetics.

"Genetic sequencing is extremely important with rare tumors," says study co-author Scott Schuetze, M.D., associate professor of internal medicine at the U-M Medical School. "Models of rare cancers to study in the laboratory are either not available or very limited. The sequencing helps us to learn more about the disease that we can use to develop better treatments or to help diagnose the cancer in others."

The NAB2-STAT6 fusion may prove to be a difficult target for therapies, but researchers believe they may be able to attack the growth signaling cycle that leads to this gene fusion.

"Understanding the changes induced in the cell by the NAB2-STAT6 gene fusion will help us to select novel drugs to study in patients with advanced solitary fibrous tumors. Currently this is a disease for which there are no good drug therapies available and patients are in great need of better treatments," Schuetze says.

No treatments or clinical trials are currently available based on these findings. Additional testing in the lab is needed to assess the best way to target NAB2-STAT6. The gene fusion could also potentially be used to help identify solitary fibrous tumors in cases where diagnosis is challenging.

###

University of Michigan Health System: http://www.med.umich.edu

Thanks to University of Michigan Health System for this article.

This press release was posted to serve as a topic for discussion. Please comment below. We try our best to only post press releases that are associated with peer reviewed scientific literature. Critical discussions of the research are appreciated. If you need help finding a link to the original article, please contact us on twitter or via e-mail.

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Source: http://www.labspaces.net/126295/Researchers_identify_genetic_mutation_for_rare_cancer_

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Victory in Aghanistan? Not without U.S. troops

During the Vietnam War, Sen. George Aiken, a Vermont Republican, was famous for suggesting that we declare victory and go home. (What he actually said is a little more nuanced, but that was the popular perception.)

President Obama seems to be pursuing a version of this strategy in Afghanistan. At least that is the inference one can draw from his claims of success at a news conference with Afghan President Hamid Karzai on Friday in which the two leaders unveiled an acceleration of the timetable for U.S. troops to step back from combat.

While Obama conceded that we had "probably not ... achieved everything that some might have imagined us achieving in the best of scenarios," he nevertheless tried to put a smiley face on the war effort. "Did we achieve our central goal? And have we been able, I think, to shape a strong relationship with a responsible Afghan government that is willing to cooperate with us to make sure that it is not a launching pad for future attacks against the United States? We have achieved that goal. We are in the process of achieving that goal."

There is actually an important difference between the last two sentences. Which is it: Have we achieved the goal or are we in the process? If the latter, then that would argue for a continued U.S. commitment to Afghanistan; if the former, then it suggests our mission is complete.

The reality is that, though the U.S. is arguably making progress, we are a long way from our ultimate objective defined in the U.S.-Afghan security partnership agreement signed by Obama and Karzai in May: "sustainable self-reliance in security, governance, economic and social development."

Yes, there has been substantial success in routing the Taliban out of its strongholds in Helmand and Kandahar provinces, as I have seen for myself on repeated trips to southern Afghanistan. After years of increased violence , enemy-initiated attacks fell 7% from January to November 2012 compared with the same period a year earlier. And as Obama said, the Afghan government is more or less cooperating with us, despite considerable friction over the handling of detainees, government corruption and other difficult issues.

But recent security gains remain incomplete. Commanders have never had the resources to launch a "clear and hold" campaign in the east as they did in the south. As a result, Haqqani sanctuaries remain intact an hour's drive from Kabul.

And even maintaining the incomplete and tenuous gains of the last few years will be impossible unless Afghanistan continues to receive substantial U.S. assistance. The Defense Department's Report on Progress Toward Security and Stability in Afghanistan concedes that only one of 23 Afghan army brigades is able to operate on its own. The Afghan forces, though fighting hard and taking considerable casualties, still need American "enablers" such as artillery, air support, medevac, logistics and intelligence. Afghanistan will not even have a functioning air force until 2017 at the earliest.

Delivering all that support, and maintaining a separate special operations capacity to hit top-level terrorist targets, will require a substantial presence of American troops. Afghanistan is a big country. Personnel based in Kabul cannot effectively assist Afghan units in Kandahar or Khost or hit terrorist targets there. There must be at least a handful of bases outside the capital area, and each one will need to be defended and supplied. Quick-reaction forces and medical facilities must be on call in the event of trouble.

How substantial a presence?

Retired Lt. Gen. Jim Dubik, a former commander of the training mission in Iraq, estimates in a recent report for the Institute for the Study of War that 23,000 to 28,000 troops would be needed. Retired Lt. Gen. David Barno, a former commander in Afghanistan, estimated in a December 2010 report for the Center for a New American Security that 25,000 to 35,000 troops would be needed. (Barno has since said that we could get by with substantially fewer, but he has given no reasons why his earlier analysis doesn't hold.)

That is a far cry from the figures now leaking out of the Obama administration. Rumor has it that the administration would like to pull out perhaps half of the 66,000 troops this year and almost all the rest in 2014, leaving behind as few as 3,000 personnel. Or maybe none at all: Talk of a "zero option" has been getting louder from the White House.

Obama has a perfect right to decide that the costs of victory in Afghanistan are too high. But if so, he should level with us instead of insulting our intelligence by claiming that we have already won a war that shows no sign of ending any time soon.

Max Boot, a senior fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations, is a contributing writer to Opinion and the author, most recently, of "Invisible Armies: An Epic History of Guerrilla Warfare From Ancient Times to the Present."

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/latimes/news/opinion/~3/tfsJtCiXz1E/la-oe-boot-afghanistan-karzaii-withdrawal-20130115,0,3388336.story

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Today in Tech: Could Apple's stock slide cost it the market cap lead?

Also: Facebook introduces Graph Search feature; how the legal system failed Aaron Swartz.?

apple-logo1Apple stock slide could cost it the market cap lead?[ALL THINGS D]

That's a long way from the all-time high of $702.10 they hit last September. If Apple's stock continues along this downward trajectory, the company may soon cede its title of world's largest company by market cap to Exxon Mobil, which it surpassed about a year ago. Apple's current market capitalization is about $456 billion. Exxon's is near $407 billion, and its shares have lately been on the rise. Obviously, there's still quite a gap between the two, but if reports of weaker-than-expected sales of the iPhone 5 continue to dog Apple, or they prove true when the company next reports earnings, who knows?

iPhone 5 demand got you worried? Relax, analysts say [CNET]

Sterne Agee analyst Shaw Wu today wrote in a research note to investors that Apple's reported cuts to component orders have nothing to do with weak demand. Instead, Wu said that while component orders are lower, they're due to "much improved yields meaning lower component builds and supplier shifts."

"As far as we can tell,?iPhone 5?demand remains robust," Wu said.

Facebook reveals how its new Graph Search feature works with your privacy settings [THE NEXT WEB]

Facebook says users can only search for content that has been already been shared with them. This means if you keep a certain tidbit about yourself limited to just a certain group of people, only they will see that information show up in their search results on Facebook. In other words, different people see different search results, much like how everyone has their own custom News Feed.

How the legal system failed Aaron Swartz -- and us?[THE NEW YORKER]

I knew Swartz, although not well. And while he was special on account of his programming abilities, in another way he was not special at all: he was just another young man compelled to act rashly when he felt strongly, regardless of the rules. In another time, a man with Swartz's dark drive would have headed to the frontier. Perhaps he would have ventured out into the wilderness, like T. E. Lawrence or John Muir, or to the top of something death-defying, like Reinhold Messner or Philippe Petit. Swartz possessed a self-destructive drive toward actions that felt right to him, but that were also defiant and, potentially, law-breaking. Like Henry David Thoreau, he chased his own dreams, and he was willing to disobey laws he considered unjust.

New MySpace opens to the public alongside new Justin Timberlake single [THE VERGE]

As with the site's last major redesign, the clear emphasis here is on music, and music discovery. There's an audio deck at the bottom of every page, where users can easily play and add songs to their queues, along with a "People" tab where you can subscribe (or "connect," in MySpace parlance) to status updates from friends and artists. The site's "Discover" function, meanwhile, brings up a menu of trending music stories, displayed in a Pinterest-like square layout, which you can browse through by horizontally scrolling across the page. Users can also post status updates, photos, or music to a Twitter-like stream, though it doesn't appear as if these posts can be synced across Facebook or Twitter.

Don't miss the latest tech news.?Sign up now?to get Today in Tech emailed every morning.

Source: http://tech.fortune.cnn.com/2013/01/15/today-in-tech-could-apples-stock-slide-cost-it-the-market-cap-lead/

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'Jolie-ing': Showing some leg now a red carpet tradition

Getty Images, Reuters

Spotted on the Golden Globes red carpet: Jolie-inspired poses.

By Rina Raphael, TODAY

Look what you've done, Angelina Jolie. Look what you've done.

After the actress dramatically showed off her gams at the 2012 Academy Awards, a bold move that consequently launched a thousand memes, it seems the bare leg trend is here to stay.

On the Golden Globes red carpet on Sunday, more than one celebrity was spotted "Jolie-ing" it up to the crowd. Not with the same oopmph or bravado as Jolie, but hey, you gotta give a sister credit for trying.

Check out the image above.?Think you have an idea who might do such a thing? Can you pair the leg with it's A-list owner?

We'll give you one more minute to make your guesses.

OK, ready?

The guilty culprits are...

Halle Berry, Eva Longoria, and Heidi Klum.

Getty Images, Reuters

Putting their best foot forward? Halle Berry, Eva Longoria, and Heidi Klum pose at the 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards held at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 13.

Are you a fan of the high-slit dress look? Let us know!

John Shearer / AP

From Anne Hathaway to Jennifer Lawrence, the red carpet's most glamorous and fashion-forward celebrities.

More from TODAY:
Heavy metal: Shimmer and shine on the Globes red carpet
Red rules for Golden Globes fashion

Look back: Nicole Kidman's glamorous red carpet history

Source: http://thelook.today.com/_news/2013/01/13/16496255-jolie-ing-showing-some-leg-now-a-red-carpet-tradition?lite

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Lance Armstrong apologizes to staff of cancer foundation

AUSTIN, Texas (Reuters) - Former champion cyclist Lance Armstrong apologized to the staff of the cancer foundation he started on Monday, the same day Oprah Winfrey was scheduled to interview him in what is widely expected to be his first admission of doping.

"He had a private conversation with the staff, who have done the important work of the foundation for many years," said Livestrong Foundation spokeswoman Katherine McLane.

"It was a very sincere and heartfelt expression of regret over any stress that they've suffered over the course of the last few years as a result of the media attention," she said.

The apology came as Armstrong was scheduled to tape an interview with Winfrey to air on Thursday -- his first interview since being stripped of his seven Tour de France titles.

The disgraced cyclist plans to admit in the interview to doping throughout his career, USA Today reported on Saturday. McLane declined to comment on whether Armstrong will admit to doping during the interview.

"Armstrong will address the alleged doping scandal, years of accusations of cheating, and charges of lying about the use of performance-enhancing drugs throughout his storied cycling career," according to a press release from Winfrey that called the event a "no-holds-barred interview."

Armstrong has always vehemently denied using performance-enhancing drugs and has never been proven to have tested positive.

But an October report from the U.S. anti-doping body USADA cited Armstrong's involvement in what it characterized as the "most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping program that sport has ever seen," involving anabolic steroids, human growth hormone, blood transfusions and other doping.

Less than two weeks later, Armstrong's seven Tour de France victories were nullified and he was banned from cycling for life after the International Cycling Union ratified the USADA's sanctions against him.

Armstrong, a survivor of testicular cancer, stepped down as a Livestrong board member in November. The foundation, originally called the Lance Armstrong Foundation but known informally for years as Livestrong, formally dropped Armstrong's name from its title in October.

The foundation advocates for cancer survivors and their families and provides free services to help people affected by cancer cope with financial, emotional and practical challenges. Armstrong founded the organization in 1997.

The foundation says it has issued 87 million of its well- known yellow bracelets to raise funds, and as a symbol of the fight against cancer.

Livestrong on Monday said that the goal of its activities has never been to protect its founder. Those comments came in a statement responding to a New York Times article that said the foundation "engaged in some deals that appeared to have benefited him and his associates."

For example, the article said, the foundation sold the rights to its name to a media company that hired Armstrong as its spokesman. The article also said Livestrong hired Washington lobbyists from the firm representing Armstrong in the doping case and quoted a Congressional staffer as saying the lobbying conversations involved the USADA investigation. Livestrong told the newspaper that the lobbying involved cancer issues.

"While we are deeply grateful to our founder, Lance Armstrong, who no longer serves on our Board of Directors, for helping us to raise more than $500 million over 15 years, it has never been the Foundation's aim in any activity, including lobbying or marketing agreements, to shield, protect or benefit him in any way," the foundation's statement said.

(Reporting By Corrie MacLaggan; Editing by Greg McCune, Andrew Hay and David Gregorio)

Source: http://feeds.chicagotribune.com/~r/chicagotribune/news/nationworld/~3/0ERD1Zxo4dQ/story01.htm

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PhatzRadio :: NBA Roundup: Heat beats Kings 128-99


LeBron James #6 of the Miami Heat talks with Dwyane Wade #3, Chris Bosh #1, Mario Chalmers #15 and Udonis Haslem #40 during a game against the Golden State Warriors at American Airlines Arena on December 12, 2012 in Miami, Florida.
(December 11, 2012 ? Source: Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images North America)

SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) ? Mario Chalmers had career highs with 10 3-pointers and 34 points to lead the Miami Heat to a 128-99 victory over the Sacramento Kings on Saturday night.

LeBron James had 20 points, seven assists, five steals and a pair of blocks for the Heat, who had a season-high point total. Miami, which hadn?t topped 100 points in its previous four games, got a needed bounceback win after losing two straight and five of eight since Dec. 26.

Chris Bosh had 16 points, Mike Miller 12 and Dwyane Wade 11 for Miami, which shot 56 percent from the field and went 17 for 37 from beyond the arc. Chalmers tied Brian Shaw?s franchise record for 3s and connected on 10-of-13 overall in breaking the previous record of nine 3s at Sleep Train Arena.

Isaiah Thomas made six 3-pointers and scored a career-high 34 points for the Kings, who dropped their fourth straight game.

MAGIC 104, CLIPPERS 101

LOS ANGELES (AP) ? J.J. Redick gave Orlando its first lead on a 3-pointer with 42 seconds left, Arron Afflalo tied his season high with 30 points, and the Magic snapped a 10-game skid.

The loss ended the Clippers? franchise-record 13-game, home-winning streak and provided them with a scare when All-Star guard Chris Paul went down holding his right knee with 54 seconds to go. Paul returned after a timeout and hit a 15-footer to draw his team within one with 33 seconds left.

But the Clippers turned the ball over on Jamal Crawford?s offensive foul. Josh McRoberts found Nikola Vucevic open under the basket, and Vucevic dunked to extend Orlando?s lead to 104-101 with 8 seconds left.

After a timeout, Crawford missed a 3-pointer as time expired.

Redick had 21 points for the injury-riddled Magic, who ended the franchise?s longest skid since 2003-04.

Blake Griffin tied his season high with 30 points for the Clippers.

WIZARDS 93, HAWKS 83

WASHINGTON (AP) ? John Wall gave his teammates a lift with 14 points and four assists in his first game of the season, and the worst-in-NBA Wizards have their first winning streak.

Wall?s playing time will be limited as he returns from a knee injury, but he appeared to have his old speed and explosiveness back while playing seven minutes in the first half and 15 in the second half.

No. 3 overall pick Bradley Beal, getting to play with Wall for the first time, scored 16 points for the Wizards, who are 6-28 but have strung together two wins in a row following their upset of Oklahoma City on Monday.

Jeff Teague scored 19 points, Al Horford had 16 points and 12 rebounds, and Josh Smith added 11 points for the Hawks, who have lost five of six.

MAVERICKS 104, GRIZZLIES 83

DALLAS (AP) ? Shawn Marion scored a season-high 20 points, Dirk Nowitzki added 17 and the Mavericks won consecutive games for the first time in a month.

All five starters scored in double figures for Dallas, with Chris Kaman scoring eight straight points in the third quarter and finishing with 14. O.J. Mayo had 11 and Darren Collison 10.

The Grizzlies were ragged a night after a big overtime win against Southwest Division-leading San Antonio. Memphis shot 38 percent and Rudy Gay was the only starter in double figures. He led the Grizzlies with 12 points.

76ERS 107, ROCKETS 100

PHILADELPHIA (AP) ? Jrue Holiday scored 30 points, Thaddeus Young had 18 points and 12 rebounds and the 76ers snapped a five-game losing streak.

Jason Richardson scored 16 points for the Sixers, who finally return home for a lengthy stint as they try to play their way back into the Eastern Conference playoff race. The Sixers opened a stretch of 12 home games in the next 13 and hope they can start to offset a miserable 2-6 road trip that stretched over the new year.

James Harden led the Rockets with 29 points and Chandler Parsons had 23. Jeremy Lin missed 11 of 13 shots for seven points.

Led by 24 points from Holiday, the Sixers built a 14-point lead in the third quarter, and found an offensive touch they?ve missed for most of the season.

SUNS 97, BULLS 81

CHICAGO (AP) ? Luis Scola scored 22 points to help the Suns snap a five-game losing streak.

Michael Beasley added 20 points for Phoenix, which had lost 12 straight on the road and got its first win away from home since beating Cleveland on Nov. 27.

The Suns got the 2,000th win in franchise history, accomplishing the feat in their 3,599th game to become the fourth-fastest team to the reach the milestone.

Carlos Boozer had 15 points and 10 rebounds, and Joakim Noah added 10 points and 13 boards for Chicago, which continued its inconsistent play at home with its fourth loss in the last six. The Bulls lost for just the second time in 13 games when both Boozer and Noah recorded double-doubles.

Chicago was whistled for four technical fouls, capped by coach Tom Thibodeau?s penalty with 3:57 left in the fourth.

JAZZ 90, PISTONS 87

AUBURN HILLS, Mich. (AP) ? Al Jefferson scored 10 of his 20 points in the third quarter, and Utah rallied for the win.

Detroit?s Brandon Knight missed a 3-pointer in the final seconds that would have tied the game after the Pistons trailed by 13 points with 3:26 left.

Jefferson helped the Jazz outscore Detroit 25-11 in the third, powering them to their first lead after trailing by as many as 15 points.

Utah also put together a 17-3 run after Austin Daye?s 3-pointer with 8:38 left gave the Pistons the lead for the last time.

Knight had 16 points and Greg Monroe scored 12 for the Pistons, who got a late lift from reserve Will Bynum, who scored 13 points.

Utah?s Paul Millsap and Randy Foye each scored 17.

PACERS 96, BOBCATS 88

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) ? George Hill scored 19 points, D.J. Augustin added a season-high 18 and Indiana earned its fourth straight win.

Lance Stephenson had 17 points and David West scored 14 to help the Central Division-leading Pacers, playing without leading scorer Paul George (illness), get their sixth win in seven games.

Ben Gordon scored 21 points for the Bobcats, and Kemba Walker had 16 on 5-for-9 shooting.

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Source: http://rd.sportsblogs.org/viewEntry.php?id=4011213&src=rss

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Toyota is world's largest automaker again

2 hrs.

Toyota has again dethroned General Motors as the world's top-selling automaker.?

The Japanese company sold 9.7 million cars and trucks worldwide in 2012, although it's still counting. GM sold 9.29 million.?

Both companies saw higher sales, but Toyota's growth was far larger as it rolled out new versions of popular models like the Camry. GM executives promised sales growth this year, especially in the U.S. Both companies say publicly that they don't care about who wins, but concede that the crown is an important morale booster for employees.?

GM was the top-selling carmaker for more than seven decades before losing the title to Toyota in 2008. But GM retook the sales crown in 2011 when Toyota's factories were slowed by an earthquake and tsunami in Japan. The disaster left Toyota dealers with few cars to sell. The company has since recovered.?

Toyota's comeback from the earthquake, and flooding in Thailand, is only part of the story, says Jeff Schuster, senior vice president of forecasting for LMC Automotive, a Detroit-area industry forecasting firm. The company also has freshened up its stale midsize sedan, the Camry, the top-selling car in the United States.?

GM's global sales rose 2.9 percent last year, it announced Monday at the North American International Auto Show in Detroit. Toyota sales rose 22 percent.?

Schuster expects Toyota to keep the lead over GM this year as it launches a new Corolla.?

"I think that's going to be enough to keep them in their position," he says.?

GM is also contending with a stronger Volkswagen. It narrowly edged out the fast-growing German company for second place in 2012. VW sold a record 9.1 million vehicles.?

Volkswagen, with big sellers like the Passat midsize sedan and Jetta compact, closed in on GM with an 11 percent sales increase across the globe. The United States, where VW Group sales rose 34 percent, led the way.?

Schuster expects GM to hold off Volkswagen in 2013. That's because VW has more of a presence in Europe, where sales are falling as the region struggles with high unemployment and weak economies.?

Source: http://www.nbcnews.com/business/toyota-worlds-largest-automaker-again-1B7951302

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Failed Marriages; Failed Relationships

Identifying the ?four horsemen? of failed relationships
Dr. John Gottman, director of Seattle University?s ?Love Lab? and founder of the Gottman Institute, has studied thousands of couples for decades. By dissecting every nuance of their rapport from eye rolls to shrugs, he can predict with 94 percent accuracy whether a relationship will eventually dissolve. Four traits turned out to be the most reliable predictors of a breakup (especially when they?re combined in some fashion), so Gottman named them the ?Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.? These traits include: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Criticism involves attacking your partner?s personality or character by saying something like, ?you never help with the dishes? or ?why are you always so late?? Contempt involves putting your partner down (i.e., ?you?re stupid for believing that?). Defensiveness often involves rebuffing your partner?s complaint with one of your own (?I may be late, but you?re way too uptight about it.?) Stonewalling involves clamming up and refusing to hash things out with your partner at all.

?We all do all of these things ? that?s not the problem,? says Katie Ramsburgh, a counselor at the?Gottman Institute. It?s when these flaws run unchecked that they can drive a couple apart. To keep this from happening, all you need to do is learn some techniques to combat them. For example, if your partner says, ?You haven?t been helping much with the dishes,? don?t immediately volley back with, ?Yes, but?you?haven?t been pitching in with the dog-walking much.? Instead, hear what your partner has to say, and then acknowledge it. Replace negative generalizations (?you never make an effort with my family?) with constructive specifics (?It would mean a lot to me if we spent more time with my family over the summer?). Based on exit surveys, 86 percent of couples make progress on a major gridlock issue in their relationship using Gottman?s methods, which are taught to them in a two-day workshop.

Enough about the bad stuff?what about the good?
While couples tend to hone in on the prevalence of negative interactions to predict whether or not they?ll split, the prevalence of positive interactions is equally critical. According to Gottman, the ratio of positive-to-negative interactions should be 20 to 1 during normal conversations ? or 5 to 1 during an argument. These results were echoed by?Terri Orbuch, project director for the NIH-funded?Early Years of Marriage Project?at the University of Michigan and author of?Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship. In her research, she found that 67 percent of happy couples say their spouse ?often? made them feel good about themselves, whereas only 27 percent of unhappy couples could claim the same thing. The moral of the story: While you might assume your partner already knows you think he or she is smart/funny/sexy, or that you?re grateful he or she cooked dinner, it?s important that you reiterate your appreciation for each other often.

Marital affairs are rarely the culprit
Think infidelity must be the top cause of divorce? On the contrary:?William Doherty, a professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota and director of the?Couples on the Brink project, found in his research that the main causes of divorce weren?t the highly dramatic ones people might expect (like adultery or domestic violence), but rather the ?soft? reasons, like ?we just grew apart.? Doherty isn?t sure why this is the case, although he has his theories. ?We think that it may be that the softer reasons are ones where they don?t have a lot of loving feelings anymore,? he says. ?If your spouse cheated on you, you may still be in love with [this person], and still might ideally want it to work out. But if the fires have just gone out, that may mean you?re less optimistic.?

The upshot? Don?t assume that just because you two don?t fight constantly or get in jealous spats that everything is OK. You two need to continue working on the ?soft? side of your relationship, too. In particular, engaging in new activities together ? from taking a Thai cooking class to salsa lessons ? will add additional sparks. And here?s why: novelty drives up your levels of dopamine, a chemical in our bodies that?s also released when we first fall in love. In?one study, Arthur Aron at the University of New York in Stony Brook asked couples to spend 90 minutes a week together engaged in familiar pastimes, such as dinner out or a movie. The other group of couples spent 90 minutes a week engaged in more unusual activities. After 10 weeks, couples filled out a marital satisfaction survey. Those that had gone on unfamiliar dates were much happier than the ones who had stuck with doing the usual stuff ? proof that staying in love isn?t as mysterious as we might think.

Judy Dutton (judy-dutton.com) is the author of?Secrets from the Sex Lab?and?Science Fair Season: Twelve Kids, a Robot Named Scorch?and What It Takes to Win.

Source: http://murphytoerner.com/marriage/failed-marriages-failed-relationships/

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